Greetings and salutations my fine Wiccan and other friends. I am a lucky girl. I have to do the wheel of the year for my coven. I am currently a student of Ecletic Paths Coven, we practice at Covensted or the home of Owl Phoenix and her husband. She studied in Ecletic paths Wicca and he is a firm believer of Pan. Or Egyptian Wicca. So we have a merry mix of folks who study whatever path they want. Which is great so my problem is the wheel of the year. and I need to find out what is the dark time and what is the light time of the wheel. When the harvesting begins and the crops die and the sun leaves the sky early and the light when we begin to plant and things begin to grow and we prepare for the harvesting of our crops. Please let me know if you don’t understand because it isn’t hard to figure out what the light and dark times mean in the olden days. Crops and such. But it befuddles me that I cannot figure out our Wiccan holidays with the cycle of the crops. I am trying to get over something like a sickness. It is rage. Have you ever felt gut renching rage? Well it is hard to do any kind of project when your mind is in the gutter with rage. So I’ve been told a hundred times what Samhein pronounced Sowenn, is and what the dark times are and I still can’t remember them. I just got off the phone with a good coven mate and he told me and he also told me that anything with a mas at the end of it is the Christian version of a word. Is that crazy or what. Llewellyn’s Press is usually very good to us Wiccans and would never print a false hood. That is just the way it is. So I go to the witches bible and find out how to spell Lammas the right way with the right word and it sounds like something Hitler flew over England and dropped bombs from. I do not understand how the hell I am going to put the dark times and light times together with how I’ve made my wheel. I used blue and black construction paper with white wedges and I need to find a way to put some kind of thing on this wheel that reminds me of what the holiday means to me. For Yule I have a really beautiful angel and for the other seven sabbats I have no idea what to use. I am going to do the best I can and next week we are meeting at Covensted to work on our wheel of the year. I am also supposed to make a wheel of the year events calendar for my Book of Shadows. This is where I put my spells and I use either dragon’s blood or dove’s blood ink so that it is perfect. I still have yet to put my spells in my book of shadows. I am going to put my first one in when this project of mine which has nothing to do with the wheel of the year is finished. I have some herbs to find and a small art project to do and my candles are on the way and I have to stuff and bind and sew and grind and go to the graveyard and get my dirt. That is another project all together. I must focus on my wheel of the year but my other project, the one I need to use to quell my rage, is my main focus. I even have some herbs to grow. Crazy huh? If you read my prior post about herbs and Elizabeth Anna’s Old World Garden then you too can find herbs and get them started for you so you never have to find them again. The only problem with my herb garden is that I am afraid I am going to kill my cat on accident so I’ll grow her some catnip and she’ll have her own little herb in the garden she can eat. Anyway do you see my problem? Rage and a prior project. You need to do this before you can do that. I have a lot to do to finish my project that has been going to make me feel like a cat in catnip to coin a phrase. No More Rage. All gone and done with. I will get this project done so I can work on my wheel of the year. Maybe I should stop Covensted and get my loose ends tied up and then begin again. What do you think? Should I keep trying to study my craft and work on the wheel of the year and my Sabbats spells, food, and craft project, or should I stop trying to study with others and go out on my own and figure out what is killing me inside? I hope to hear from someone who will at least give me some advice and let me know how I should deal with this. I still plan to blog about Wicca and how I work with it and how to do things like make potions brews oils and soaps and other things you need for rituals spells and where to find things that may make you life easier but am I doing the right thing or am I half assing one thing when another occupies my time? Blessed be. Byrony.